I was invited to a Chinese wedding. I put ¥500 in a red envelope and was told that's 'just okay'.
My friend from Australia was invited to his Chinese colleague's wedding in Hangzhou. He had never been to a Chinese wedding. He had no idea what to give.The research:
He asked around.
"How much should I give?"
His other Chinese colleague said: "Depends on your relationship. Colleague? ¥500-1,000. Close friend? ¥1,000-2,000. Family? ¥2,000+."
He decided on ¥500. It felt generous.
The wedding:
The ceremony was at a hotel ballroom. 30 tables. 300 guests.
At the entrance, there was a table with two people and a notebook.
"Please sign the guest book and leave your gift here."
He handed over his red envelope with ¥500.
They wrote his name and the amount in the notebook.
He saw the person before him had given ¥1,000.
The reality:
At the reception, he sat at a table with other colleagues.
Someone asked: "How much did you give?"
He said ¥500.
They nodded politely. "That's... okay."
He later learned: the average for colleagues at this particular wedding was ¥800-1,000. His ¥500 was the minimum.
Chinese wedding gift etiquette:
The amount depends on:
• Your relationship to the couple
• The city (Shanghai/Beijing = higher, smaller cities = lower)
• The venue (luxury hotel = higher expectations)
General guidelines (2026):
• Colleague/acquaintance: ¥500-800
• Friend: ¥1,000-2,000
• Close friend/family: ¥2,000-5,000
• Best friend/sibling: ¥5,000-10,000+
Lucky numbers:
• ¥600 (六六大顺)
• ¥800 (八 = prosperity)
• ¥1,000 (round number, acceptable)
• ¥1,688 (一路发发)
• ¥2,000 (even number, generous)
Avoid:
• ¥400 (四 = death)
• ¥250 (means stupid)
• Odd numbers (except for specific lucky ones)
The red envelope:
• Buy a red envelope (红包) from any convenience store or supermarket
• Write your name on it
• Put cash inside
• Hand it to the reception desk at the entrance
• They record your name and amount
What you get back:
• A wedding favor (candy, small gift)
• Sometimes a "return gift" (回礼) of ¥20-50 from the couple
• The memory of a 3-hour banquet with 12 courses
My Australian friend: "I thought ¥500 was generous. It was the minimum. At least I learned: when in doubt, ask a local friend what's normal. Not what's polite. What's normal."
Anyone else been to a Chinese wedding? How much did you give?
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